Wednesday, February 15, 2012

I can't take these people anywhere.

me: what'd you get for lunch?
cgiauque: pork salad!
with extra LETTUCE
12:38 PM me: gross
cgiauque: [rubs lettuce in your face]
me: [pukes in your eyes]
12:39 PM cgiauque: [shields eyes with extra strong lettuce shield]
12:40 PM me: [reflexively closes own eyes from the stomach acid puke splashback that gets in your hair and on your face]
cgiauque: [stabs you]
me: [dies but continues to puke what is now a combination of vomit and blood]
12:41 PM [which of course gets all over you]
[and you die of shame]
cgiauque: [dances on your grave]
12:43 PM me: [reaches out a necrotic hand through the soil like at the end of Carrie and buries you alive so you die in, like, a week of darkness and are eaten by worms]

2 comments:

my ghostwriter said...

you win. top shelf.

Kels H.M. said...

this is what happens when you read too much gothic poetry & too many comic books.