Saturday, April 9, 2011

turn out the lights.

my favorite new show ended last Wednesday
and i watched a good man fight his battles
throwing right crosses at his demons and left hooks at his past
in one way or another, he came out ahead.

there's something about these shows
the man with the hat who got out of town
and found himself drawn back
to somewhere he didn't belong
(except that he did)
and he's not a good man
but he does what's right
regardless.

right now i'm watching the men with cuts
they're fighting for their children and their wives
and they're not good men
they don't do what's right
but
somehow
they make me want to.

i think Corey summed it up best:
"sons is badass
and justified is hardcore
but lights out?
well
lights out is inspiring."

i haven't been inspired for some time.
everything in my brain is betrayals and bad luck
unholy alliances and library smiles
people
as they often do
pretending to be something they're not.

tonight i was getting dessert
and i was so angry and i don't know why

i think i just want something to care about
but my shows are all over.

about two bad men who wanted to be good
so they made themselves change
they pushed square pegs into round holes
and let themselves out of their cages
so they could bring the bad down with them
but of course
nobody watched it
and now it's gone.

so now i have to wonder:
what happened to them?
did they make it to mexico?
or were they caught at the border
and thrown back into cages?

and i wonder about you like that, too
whether or not you've made it out of your cage
(and
perhaps more importantly
if you belong inside
or out)

but luckily
that's not my decision.
it's above my pay grade
and i have enough to worry about.

but i'm wondering
what stories i can lock myself into now

and sometimes
when it's late at night
and the winter revisits april and throws cold through my open window
and a song comes on shuffle and i can hear you singing along
and i know beyond any doubt that i'm on your mind

i ignore it all
and i go to sleep
and dream of a world
where the ugly shows lose
and they don't make it past pilots

but the good ones?
they keep getting renewed
and the seasons change with the seasons.

because everybody loves a winner.
and darlin',

have i got a winner for you.

No comments: