Monday, April 25, 2011


when Ruby came, i shaved my face
because i wanted her to see someone else
who'd always be there.

and i think that was fine and all
but i'm not gonna do that tonight.

i haven't shaved (or even trimmed)
for closing in on two months, and my
beard is getting ferocious. and i want
you to be able to see that, regardless

of anything else, good things come to
those who wait. and some people may
think that growing a beard is a passive
thing. that it just sort of "happens" like

a wound hardening to a scab and then
flaking off like snakeskin. but i submit
that those people--those people--have
never grown a beard, and, accordingly,

have nothing to say on the matter. so
ignore them. they'll never know what
it takes. and that's okay: perhaps they
are just as scared of growing as i am

of meeting you. because i'm absolutely
terrified about the world you're being
brought into. there's a lot of bad stuff
here, and sometimes it feels like things

are getting worse before they get bet-
ter, and there doesn't seem to be much
that any of us can do about it. but then
i think of how much brighter it'll all be

now that you're on your way. and i
already feel better, you know? tomorrow
morning, i'll be able to finally shake that
red little hand, the result of nine months

of growing that your mom would surely
say was an active thing, not a passive
thing. within two months of Ruby being
born, she ripped a chunk of beard and

skin out of my face and made me bleed
and she clutched the tuft of chin hair
like it was a little league trophy, and it
hurt like absolute hell. but it was worth

it. and you'll be worth it. and Ruby may
have gotten to see me babyfaced, and
CHiP saw me in a shirt and tie, but you:
you'll get to see me how i think i really am.

i'll see you in the morning.
drive safe.

i already know which zeppelin songs you'll hear first
and your stack of spider-man comics is totally huge.

1 comment:

martha said...

i like you with a beard :)